Through the Vomitorium

vomere (Latin) - "to spew forth"

Most speakers of English know one cognate ("vomit") from this word. I came across the word "vomitorium" just a few years ago, and no, it has nothing to do with vomiting. A vomitorium is a large passageway in a stadium or concert hall to allow big crowds to exit quickly. People are, in a manner of speaking, "spewed forth" from the building.

(Where the heck is this going? Read on...)

This week was the annual Big Ten Women's Conference Tournament in Indianapolis. Since the ladies lost their last regular season game, they got knocked down to a 10 seed, and thus did not receive a bye. I was disappointed that we had to play on day one with the riff-raff teams, but also because a possible loss to a 15 seed Wisconsin would mean a) our tourney resume would get dinged, and b) I wouldn't get to see the team play in person (I couldn't get out of work on Wednesday, but I could on Thursday.) Well, we won that Wednesday game and then some. Let's recap our stint in Indy.

vs. Wisconsin (Illini win 82-70)

They rarely panned to the crowd on the broadcast, but I suspect there were approximately 27 people in the building for this game considering how well you could hear the coaches yelling on TV. After one particular gaffe, I could hear Shauna come unglued and spew forth (heh), "WHY, WHY, WHY??"

We had dispatched Wisconsin easily at home a couple weeks ago by 30+ and that was certainly the hope coming into this one...a laugher meant Shauna could rest the starters so they were fresh for day two. It didn't quite work out that way since the ladies shot dreadfully behind the arc and our interior defense was suspect yet again. After an extraordinarily hot stretch of 3-pt shooting in the previous five games, water found its level and we made 2/19. And Gift Uchenna, Wisconsin's big who has scored 21 points COMBINED in the previous three games scored 24 to keep the Badgers within striking distance for much of this game.

The ladies were up 39-23 in the second quarter; Wisky followed with a 10-0 run. We got up 46-36 in the third quarter; Badgers went on a 9-0 run.

Enter Lety Vasconcelos.

Lety had the best stretch of her young career in the third quarter. Baby hooks, stickbacks, three point plays. Her final line of 12 points and six rebounds doesn't seem like much to write home about, but after a year and a half of trying to get back to form after her knee injury, every person in orange and blue was absolutely delighted to see her shine for a bit. Well done, young lady. And that 14-3 run in the third mostly put this one out of reach.

This game was fine. Berry had 22 and 5, Destiny had 21/6/5, and the women moved on to face the Spartans.

Interlude

Once we had the W in hand, I hopped online to buy my ticket, and told my wife I couldn't do pick up after our kids' co-op Thursday afternoon: I was heading to Indy.

I had a breakfast meeting at work Thursday morning and honestly felt a little queasy after. I had a big beautiful omelet and it just wasn't sitting right. I chalked it up to the fact that I usually don't eat breakfast at all, and my body was just irritated with me. I felt better a few hours later so I drove east, grabbed an amazing parking spot on the street (RIGHT next to Gainbridge), and found my seat...which was in a sea of Big Ten colors. To my left, an Iowa fan; to my right, two MSU bros; in front of us, two Michigan fans. And we were all right behind the MSU band, so I did not get an unbiased perspective on the game, to say the least.

vs. #18 Michigan State (Illini win 71-69)

If you recall, the game at East Lansing in early January did not go well. They overwhelmed us early and were in control the entire game until a crazy fourth quarter rally made the score look respectable. They're a really good team.

And our slow start habit continued in this one. I kid you not, we had SIX turnovers before the first TV timeout, including four on the first four possessions. But when we could actually get a shot off, everything was going in so we were up at the end of the first quarter (Cearah had our first eight points in that dreadful display of ballhandling). MSU then had a slow start to the second and a slow end. Illinois up 36-29 at half.

(Not a full interlude here, but I was feeling good about the game at half so I decided to indulge and grab a beer. A local Scottish ale, name escapes me, but it was good. I wish I hadn't drank that beer.)

Foul trouble became a thing in the second half, as they called seven on the Illini in the first four and a half minutes. MSU went on a 9-0 run to take the lead and we had a GAME.

Remember: this is a team that has struggled to close games at times. And I'll be darned if we didn't regain the lead and keep them at arm's length until the very end. It did get interesting near the end, but two defensive stands to preserve a two point lead were successful and this team was moving on.

I haven't mentioned any individuals yet because, darn it, nearly everyone deserved some love. Five players in double figures (Berry, Cece, Destiny, JBH, and Maddie), and all shot pretty efficiently from the floor except Berry. And it's a good thing we regained our shooting form because they killed us on the boards (33-22) and we wound up with 17 turnovers. Survive and advance.

And hey, it's March, so I don't want to pass over the JOY of a tourney win. If you haven't watched this video yet, I implore you to do so right now:

Amazing.

Interlude 2

"Hmm, that beer isn't sitting very well with me."

I was on Cloud Nine for about 20 minutes after that win. I told my wife I wasn't coming home tonight, I confirmed my plans to stay with a friend in Indy, and texted with Illini buddies after a (seed-bumping??) win.

But I couldn't ignore that unease in my stomach. Something's amiss, friends. As a hopeless optimist, I thought it would pass. I didn't want to leave so I had planned on watching the first half of the Oregon-Maryland game before heading out. But at the end of the first quarter, I told my new Iowa friend (firefighter from West Des Moines, a real swell guy) that I was going to call it a night and that I hoped to see him for tomorrow night's game.

It was not to be.

I exited through the nearest vomitorium and then I KNEW something was amiss. That feeling in my stomach had made its way up to my throat. I hustled to the nearest bathroom like I was being chased by the paparazzi. I ran to the nearest stall and...

Well, you know what came next. There was much "spewing forth" and it wasn't pretty. And my apologies to those poor fellas in the urinals just on the other side of the divider from me. They couldn't get out of that bathroom fast enough.

Man, it sucked. And mostly because I knew that the game the next evening was NOT going to happen. I made a hasty exit, cancelled my Indy stay, and drove the two hour ride home, praying that I wouldn't have to pull over.

This is more than you bargained for, so let's keep moving...

vs. #9 Iowa (Illini loss 64-58)

Don't let that final score fool you. This game was not close and never in doubt. The Illini had played maybe their best game of the season the previous week in Iowa City, almost escaping with a win over a top ten foe. But a tired Illini team, playing its third game in three days, coming off the high of the previous day's win, did not have the juice.

Yet another slow start (we only made two of our first twelve field goals), Cece foul trouble (she never found a groove after, ending with only two points), and no answer to Iowa's dynamic post game meant that we were cooked. Down 21-11 after one, 37-23 at half and that was all she wrote.

(Why does that score look competitive? A wild 15-0 run at the end, mostly against Iowa's second string...I was hoping for a 6x-5x score and we nearly got a 6x-6x.)

I wouldn't try to take too much away from this one. We've already proved that we can compete with a team of this caliber, and I know coaches hate to use the fatigue excuse, but it was clear that we were a step slow. We just didn't have it that night.

A bright spot? Jas. She was the only one who had it going. Get this:

Jasmine was 8/13 from the floor (22 points)
The rest of the team was 13/50 (I'm not a math major, but methinks that's a measly 26 percent)

And Jas had 12 points vs. MSU on a remarkably efficient 5/6 from the floor. I don't know if this is a THING, but I would definitely take a JBH emergence this late in the season.

I'm going to call this trip a success. This was the first year since 2011 that the Illini grabbed multiple wins in the conference tourney, and one was vs. a stout opponent that might get us out of that dreaded 8/9 game in the NCAA tourney. (ESPN's bracketologist indeed predicted a seven seed for us after that MSU win)

So now...we wait. Unlike the men, who get to see the bracket just minutes after the Big Ten conference tourney ends, the ladies have to wait a full week. But we shouldn't be sweating this out. The resume is good enough. This young team made it happen and we should be dancing in a week.

And I'm feeling much better, thank you very much.