No One Is Alone

I'll be honest. I was late getting there. My alarm went off and I set another one for 45 minutes later. The last five days have been exhausting, and when my alarm went off, my body went "NOPE."

And then when I got to Grayhawk, thinking (hoping) that it would be a very long day with 36 holes of golf, I ate breakfast in the media center and grabbed a cup of coffee before heading out to the course. I completely forgot that we had started on 10, so I was walking down the front nine when I ran into a guy in an Illini shirt who was looking for the 13th hole. He knew were were on the back nine (but not where to find it), I knew where the 13th hole was (but not that we started on 10), so we were a good walking pair.

When I got to the 13th, there was Piercen Hunt. This meant that I was so late (because of my snooze button, because of breakfast, because I was lost) that the first hole I watched was the fifth Illini player on his fourth hole of the day. Matthis Besard had to be have been on his 7th hole at that point.

I watched Hunt on 13 and then walked along on 14 with him. And it didn't take long for me to notice something. You could hear crowds cheering on the holes ahead, but for this group, it was Piercen Hunt's parents, Brett Roberts' parents, and me. Others joined later, on and off, including a few Illini fans, but for the most part, it was just the two sets of parents and me.

And I got acquainted with Brett Roberts' dad real quick. He tripped over the edge of the cart path after watching the tee shots on 14 and fell face first. Skinned up his arm really good. He was more embarrassed than anything, so I offered him some "if I had a nickel for all the times I fell flat on my face in front of other people…" klutz affirmation.

He handled it with dad aplomb, though. His son, having just picked up his golf bag and headed for the fairway, saw his dad fall and came to check if he was OK. His dad wanted his son to concentrate on the golf, not the skinned-up arm, so he overplayed that he was perfectly fine. Once his son headed towards his ball, the dad showed me how his arm was already bleeding. Someone made a call for a medic and the medics met him by the next tee to bandage him up. He continued with us and walked the rest of the round.

So today's round, for me, was quite different from the last five days. And I still kind of don't understand how it happened this way. I came all the way out here to see my team possibly win a national championship, I've been doing this for five days, we're in match play now, I'm at the course, all of the excitement is happening in the groups ahead (I can hear it), but I'm completely drawn to one single match. Mostly because nobody else was drawn to that match. Piercen lost the 13th and the 14th (his 4th and 5th holes) to go two down, but I was all-in for the rest of the round. I tweeted this at the time:

I'm so glad I chose to do follow his pairing. I'm nervous right now because I want these words to make sense. I want to "land the plane", as I often say.

You're probably aware that we lost to Florida State. The dream of an NCAA golf title will have to wait another year. It was so hard to watch Florida State celebrate on that 9th green. But I want to tell you the story leading up to the 9th green.

I'm following Hunt's group. And he's playing really well. If you were following along today, you might hear that and tilt your head at "playing really well" because you know that he lost 3&2. But let me ask you a question. Who played better today? Tommy Kuhl or Piercen Hunt? Are you surprised that the answer is Piercen Hunt?

Look, it's difficult to compare scores with match play because of conceded putts. A player could be on his way to a 6 on a certain hole but they put them down for a 5 because the other player has his par and it doesn't matter what you score - he's won the hole. But if you add up Hunt's scores against Brett Roberts and you add up Kuhl's scores against Jack Bigham, Hunt was even on the day and Kuhl was +1. It just so happened that the player who Hunt played was on fire and the player who Kuhl played… wasn't.

And as I'm walking and watching Hunt's group, it all felt so terribly unfair. You can hear the cheers ahead when Kuhl or ADdC would win a hole. But they were winning with a par when their FSU opponent would bogey. Hunt was putting up pars as well. His opponent was simply holing out bunker shots for birdie.

So there I am, cheering for my team, watching the Illini player I'm tracking play really well, and no one knows about it. On the 17th hole (their 8th), Hunt hits a great drive up by the green. He chips to about four feet while Roberts has a long, maybe 20-foot birdie putt of his own (twisting down the hill). Down hill, 20 feet, with a break, and a lower level of the green behind so you can't even send it five feet past because it will roll 40 feet away… PGA Tour players would make that putt maybe 8% of the time. You can only tap it and hope. And Roberts rolls it in, meaning Hunt's birdie was meaningless.

Same thing on 5 (their 14th hole). Both players are in the bunker. Hunt hits a great bunker shot to maybe 3 feet. It's a tricky pin, so if Roberts leaves himself a tester, Hunt is about to tie things up. What happens? Roberts drains the long bunker shot and he's now two-up.

Next hole, 6th fairway, Hunt hits the better drive, so Roberts has to go first from the fairway. What does Roberts do with his approach shot? Sticks it maybe nine inches from the cup. That tap-in puts him three up.

And it's at this point that things feel incredibly unfair. Piercen Hunt is alone on an island out here, guys. Everyone has checked their phones, saw that Hunt "lost" two holes, and he's ignored. It's back to just me and the two sets of parents. I'm glancing at the individual scores on Golfstat and I'm realizing that Hunt might be playing the best of any Illini player… and no one knows or cares. I get it - people want to see the matches that will decide the winner - but it still felt unfair.

Yes, I understand the sports component here. "If your opponent is playing great, you have to step up to his level - this is match play, son." I truly get it. Please remember that these are not Piercen Hunt's observations, they are mine. He was battling. I was the one (internally) screaming "everyone has left him behind!"

We get to the 7th hole and things are backed up. Hunt has to wait on the tee because Buchanan's group is in the fairway (and his opponent is in the waste area) AND there's still players on the green. So I walk all the way to the green to watch the groups. ADdC has finished off his opponent and as I'm arriving, Jackson Buchanan is hitting his chip shot. His opponent made bogey, and I watch him achingly miss his par putt. Florida State is still one-up.

I turn to follow Buchanan's group and walk maybe 15 paces and I stop myself. What am I doing? I'm giving up on Hunt now? I'm just like everyone else. So I turn around and go back to the 7th green. Hunt's match is only dormie (same number of shots behind as holes remaining), so he could still technically beat Roberts on 7, 8, and 9 and force extra holes. I'm sticking with my guy until it's over.

Because I was in this mindset, the next moment was heartbreaking. Yes, I'm about to write a paragraph about Jackson Buchanan's bunker shot and use the term "heartbreaking." Just as Hunt is about to strike his birdie putt on 7, he has to back off his putt because there's insane noise coming from the 8th green (a par-3, so it's not very far away). Jackson Buchanan has holed-out his bunker shot to keep his match alive.

I'm super excited about it inside, and my sports brain is going "WE ARE STILL IN THIS!!", but I'm also very much "what other things could smack Piercen Hunt in the face today if he's now getting to hear that there are actually large crowds here today - they're just not interested in his match". I've been following Hunt for three hours now, and every single thing has seemingly gone someone else's way.

(At one point I honestly thought about tweeting "attention all Illini fans who are here at Grayhawk: please come back to Hunt's pairing on the 3rd tee and give him some support." But I realized that this was just my story - they had their own stories to follow.)

Once the noise died down, Hunt attempted his birdie putt. Off to the right. Roberts lags it up by the hole and this match is over (Roberts only needed to halve the hole to win the match). When matches are completed, the NCAA officials have carts there for the players and their parents, so both Hunt and Roberts get in golf carts with their parents and head off to the ninth hole to see what happens between Buchanan and Clanton.

So as I start walking past the eighth hole to the ninth hole, I realize that I'm out on the course by myself. When I cross the road between the 8th green and the 9th tee, I took this video. 12 minutes prior I had been standing with a couple hundred people watching Buchanan's putt on 7 (while Hunt was in the fairway). Now?

Right or wrong, it made me sad that everyone was following the other matches and for Hunt it was just two sets of parents. And now, with the parents and players carted off elsewhere, it was just me and the television cables crossing the road. But as I rounded that curve, up ahead, everything came together for me.

I rounded the corner (well, the cart path kinda zig-zags around some cactuses first), but once I could see the fairway, this is the first thing I see:

I've run out of ways to describe myself as "soft", but maybe this will help. After having spent three hours with the exact same thought -- "why is Piercen Hunt alone out here?" -- this was like watching some YouTube video where one of the baby ducks catches up to mom and the other babies. Piercen, after being on an island all day, is now reunited with his teammates (Tommy, Matthis, and Adrien, plus sixth-man Ryan Voois) as they cheer on Jackson on the final hole.

There was just something so pure about that moment for me. Win or lose, crowd or no crowd, they're all together pulling for their guy on the one hole that will decide this quarterfinal. It's a helpless feeling with Jackson one-down, but they have each other.

As you know, we lost. He needed to beat Clanton on this hole to force extras, and when they both made par, it was over. Illini golf, once again in match play, once again going home without the trophy. I came all the way out here because I couldn't not be here if we won and.. we didn't win.

But then, as often happens in these moments, a song emerged in my head. You already know what song. It's the title of this post: No One Is Alone (from the Broadway musical Into The Woods). Yes, you've got that right. I'm grieving my team's loss and humming Sondheim.

I mean, I get how silly it is. It's a musical that combines several fairy tales. This song - I kid you not - is one character signing to Little Red Riding Hood and the other character singing to Jack (of bean-stalk fame). But it was the song in my head as I was thinking of that team standing there, together. Piercen on an island for 16 holes, and then, at the end, no longer alone. No one is alone.

I asked to speak with Piercen afterwards. I have it recorded, but I don't want to use it here. Like some conversations I've had with football players after losses, this one was for me. But it was important that I speak to him and let him know how well I thought he played. How well he handled himself today. How he didn't let long putts dropping or holed bunker shots phase him. Played his game and stayed focused while under intense pressure - I respect the hell out of that.

I then gathered my things and headed for my car. I came here to see us break the long streak of match play failures and saw us fail out of match play in the quarters. I was sad, and I knew I needed to listen to the song (original Broadway cast, of course). I got to the car, plugged into the aux, put the song on, listened to the lyrics, and teared up again. I had forgotten how the song ended, but it's the perfect ending for my article. Just remember…

Hard to see the light now
Just don't let it go
Things will come out right now
We can make it so
Someone is on your side…

No one is alone