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The Top Ten Reasons White Sox Fans Suck
by KrushIllini
- Hawk Harrelson: He still makes up stupid Chris Berman-like nicknames for people. The schtick is old, just call the game. Hey Hawk, are you a tool? EEEEEEEEEEEE-YESSSS!
- Complaining about attendance: There's just nothing Sox fans can do about attendance, you won't fill the stadium no matter what gimmick you try to come up with; there simply aren't 45,000 Sox fans in existence. The only time the park is ever filled is when the Cubs, Yankees or Indian fans fill the other empty half.
- Comisky Park: You tear down an old, great park and build a dump. It is as interesting as sitting in a parking garage or a hospital. Sox fans like to compare it to Yankee stadium in build and the neighborhood that surrounds it. I got news for those fans, it is exactly like Yankee Stadium without the history, charm or good baseball.
- "Sammy is on steroids": GMAFB! Is he on steroids? Who knows, maybe yes, maybe no. However, to sit on a high horse and act like Sammy is the only guy in steroids in the city is ridiculous. I'm sure steroid use is just as rampant in the Sox clubhouse and it is in the Cubs'.
- Wrigley Envy: Wrigley is 100 times the ballpark Comisky will ever be. How many times have the legends of baseball strode to the plate at New Comisky. You call Wrigley a "beer garden" and stereotype Cub fans there as the cell phone crowd. I saw just as many Sox fans on cell phones as Cub fans at the last crosstown game.
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Cub fans: Eddie Vedder, Britney Spears, John Wayne, and Mother Theresa
Sox fans: "Turd" from the Mancow show, and Satan.
- Jerry Reinsdorf: The driving force behind the 94 strike when your team is having a great season. I hope like hell baseball strikes until just after the all-star break next year. Jerry, you don't deserve an all star game.
- Frank Thomas, the Big Skirt: For a 6-5 270-pound man, you are the biggest baby in sports. You are hitting .188 since June 1st and are not only whining about being benched, but you still think you should be hitting 3rd??? GMAFB again! You haven't played well in 5 years, and you still charge little kids who look up to you $20 for an autograph like you need the money.
- As the vast minority of fans in the city, you feel that status entitles you to some sort of bitterness or enlightenment. It doesn't. All it entitles you is more space to stretch out at Comisky.
- Calling the Cubs "losers": When was the last time you won a World Series? Calling the Cubs losers is like a 35-year-old virgin who lives with his parents making fun of a 37-year-old virgin who lives with his parents.
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