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Top Ten Reasons for Not Attending an Illini Football Game in Champaign
by Brumby
- The traffic on I-57 is too much for me to go through. I mean it is not like I already drive in worse traffic five days a week to and from work into the city, but on the weekends, I want my traffic to be just in the city on my way to Best Buy to spend $100 on CDs and Video Games.
- The game starts too early. On the weekends I like to sleep in, and these early starting times make me get up too early to drive to Champaign. No mention of the fact that I get up earlier during the week, and I would have still slept in.
- Jim Turpin described the game such that I always knew what was going on.
- The smell of the south farms is just too much for me to deal with.
- Who are the Fighting Illini? I have only heard of Notre Dame and Michigan from the Chicago media.
- They never win when I go to the games, so I quit going.
- My wife told me I could not go because I needed to buy her a new diamond ring this weekend.
- Champaign is too far a drive for me from (name city less than one hour and a half by car away). Those cornfields just put me too sleep.
- I don't have enough money to buy tickets / food / gas. The best bargain in the Big Ten is just too much money for me, so I decided to hit the bars on Friday night and drop $100 on just alcohol.
- It is going to be too (hot / cold).
Other additions to the list included:
- skiteam - My car might get stolen while I'm at the game.
- cratchelow - I have to stand in line too long to take a leak, and when I finally get there, the urinals smell bad.
- B-ball Moccasins - Because not paying for cable is a crime, and I don't watch criminals Mr. Beutjer!
- Ron McDon - The New Jumbo Tron is too big
- Tortillini - Thetas didn't pick me for football block this year
- GoILLINoIs - UI is the only cold-weathered venue in the Big 10
- Cowtown Illini - I'll miss College GameDay's live broadcasts from Memorial Stadium
- Detlef - There's too much construction on Green Street
- Billselfforprez - I don't like going because the guy I have to sit by yells too loud
- djtexillini - All those people in front of me keep standing up
- Magic Illini - Memorial Stadium too windy, messes up my Gene Keady-like combover
- Genghis Khan - Splinters ... from the metal benches
- IlliniAssassin - No beer
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