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Taboo Topics on IlliniBoard
by Rabid Dawg
A lot of people point to the FAQ section to give reasons why a certain topic or topics should not be discussed on the IlliniBoard. They point to FAQ #5 (no disparaging comments about players, coaches, etc) and FAQ #2 (No unsubstantiated rumors). Of course, those rules get violated quite a bit, and often times, people are chastised for that. However, if you look at FAQ #6, then just about all of us will no longer be able to post on this board.
FAQ #6 - DO NOT POST ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT SAY TO THAT PERSON'S FACE
Well... needless to say, how many of us would REALLY tell Shannon Brown to his face that we'd rather have Charlie Villanueva play for us instead of him. Or how many of us would really go up to Pat Kennedy and call him Fat (or Phat) Pat? If any poster on this board would ACTUALLY do either of those things, then you are excluded from these suggested bans. However we all get on here EVERY DAY and talk about topics everyday that we'd be remiss to discuss face to face with the subjects we post about.
That said... per FAQ #6, here are my suggested topic bans for the IlliniBoard. Would you really discuss these topics in front of the actual person? Keep in mind that this is a work in progress and can always be added to... SO WATCH IT, BUDDY!!
- WHICH RECRUIT YOU WOULD RATHER HAVE? -- If you say you want Shannon Brown, Charlie Villanueva might get miffed and sign with UConn. If you say you'd rather have Charlie, Shannon might run right to Tom Izzo's bosom. And nobody's even thinking about Ebi's feelings.
- WILL MELTON TRANSFER? -- Unless you'd ask Brett this in person, please talk only about his sweet jump shot or how he bleeds orange and blue.
- WHAT ANY PLAYER SHOULD'VE DONE -- Should Krupalija have taken that open jumper against Kansas? Why didn't Harrington shoot that open three? Shouldn't Cook have passed to the open man instead of going into the crowded lane? Unless you would ask the players straight up, then don't talk about it here. I suspect that when most posters here come face to face with the players that the topic of conversation is limited to "You're great!" or "Keep up the good work!" or "We're all rooting for you!"
- WHO'S NOT GOING TO START OR WHO'S THE LAST MAN ON THE BENCH Make sure you only say who IS going to start or mention only the players you think will make a potential ten man rotation. Then hope the players NOT mentioned don't figure it out that you haven't listed them.
- DOOKIE V... OLD ONE-EYE... OR ANY OTHER NAME FOR DICK VITALE. How come I've never seen any Illini fans call him on the carpet in person? Because they're all mugging with him and trying to get his autograph or a picture taken with him. Apparently he's a swell guy in person and all that Duke stuff is forgotten about.
- ZOOM ZOOM -- I doubt anyone here would actually tell Kirk Heinrich that he looks like that Zoom Zoom kid. I also doubt anyone would tell Drew Naymick that he's Adam Ballinger's clone.
- FREAKIN' BOY WONDER -- I have a feeling everyone here would address him as "Coach Alford."
- ALFORD'S WIFE -- I've seen some pretty mean stuff here. To be eligible to comment on Mrs Alford, every person on the IlliniBoard must post a picture of his or her spouse and/or girlfriend or boyfriend.
- KEADY'S WIFE -- See "Alford's Wife."
- AFTER LOSS CRITICISM -- I believe I always see the Orange head for the exits after a loss. Very few fans stick around to tell the team what they should've done.
- REFERENCE TO GERMANS -- Hey... they didn't bomb Pearl Harbor, but they're getting blamed for it. As a European American (I'm white) I take offense to that. I can only imagine how many actual Germans we've made feel unwelcome here.
These topics don't pertain to FAQ #6, but should probably be banned as well
- WORST ILLINI LOSSES -- If any recruit sees us talking about Illini losses, then they'll know that Illinois has ACTUALLY lost games in the past. Then they might equate us with losers.
- BEST ILLINI WINS -- Kaufmann made the shot against Iowa but who threw the inbound pass? Who set the neat pick on the inbound pass? Those people aren't getting the proper credit. (Incidentally, TJ Wheeler threw the pass, and Rennie Clemons made the pick)
- WARREN CARTER, BRIAN RANDLE, RICHARD MCBRIDE, SHANNON BROWN, KALEN GRIMES, CHARLIE VILLANUEVA, DEE BROWN, DERON WILLIAMS, KYLE WILSON, JAMES AUGUSTINE, AARON SPEARS. -- Unless you've actually seen them play.
Thanks for your time. With these suggestions in mind, we here at the IlliniBoard can continue to strive to be more like The Devil's Den, that utopia of Internet message boards.
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