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Why It's Great to be a Man
by Sandwich Illini
- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
- Your orgasms are real. Always.
- Your last name stays put.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
- Same work ... more pay.
- Wrinkles add character.
- Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
- If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
- "Adult" movies are designed with you in mind.
- Your pals can be trusted never to ask you, "So, notice anything different?"
- One mood, ALL the damn time.
- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
- A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
- You can open all your own jars.
- Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
- If someone forgets to invite you to something, you can still be friends.
- Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
- If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
- You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
- You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
- You almost never have strap problems in public.
- You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
- You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
- Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
- The world is your urinal.
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